aftermath

Anyways. White day happened... I tried to talk to sally who was still ignoring and giving me one word answers, that night I gave her original cookies I ordered from a wedding place to match a character she likes. She seemed happy and it all seemed ok but honestly she kept with the one word talk and I just told her what was up with that. After a day getting ignored she said "she was late. She needed to think her answer, she needs time and space to organize her feelings" I am sure organize is not the best word but put things in order kind of thing. She also clearly said "I am not mad!" etc which probably means she is still mad.

I actually gave the chocolates and talked to her on the 16th of March, on the 15th I got called out for a date by a friend(yes, she is a woman and she is taken) lets call her Faith, She went to Mexico for internship so she speaks some Spanish. She gave me the valentine tequila as return I gave her some cookies from Venezuela(my last!) some chocolate I bought from a japanese store and a mexican lollipop I got from another Mexican girl(betrayal!). Anyways she asks me about the whole Sally deal and wants to hear my "side" of things... I honestly ask her if there was anything I could have done to not have this happen and she told me "nope, never seen her this mad" and "when we fought she never talked in single words". Just confused me even more... anyways since I hinted that I might quit if I have some girl just ignoring me in my own part she said how fun it was for her to play with me and how no one wants me to quit(again painfully hinting just to the fact that I am ok playing) Seems I gotta be the adult in this situation and swallow whatever pride and self respect I have left and take it. Dont think anything will come out of this but my drama gets more complicated by the minute!

'fess up

The big concert happened, I managed to play well and live to everyone expectations. The organizer was thankful that I played and everyone was praising me left and right so it was a good mood. We gave a present to sally for handling all the calling and scheduling of the clarinet part, she was very happy and broke the silence with me and just said "your solo was lovely as always". Anyhow at the second party(in japan we have the normal party then like an afterparty known as 二次会 or nijikai) during then I talked to her she said she wanted to forget about everything tha happened recently and just work on our friendship. I think I have one too many tequilas or something but since I like her I decided to confess up right then and there.. she was already ignoring me most of this month so if it comes to worse nothing would change, I know she has a boyfriend so I said this something like this "I like you and I am aware there is someone else you like and it is not me(implying her boyfriend) and that is ok." then I proceeded to tell her about me getting rejected for the disney tickets by her etc. She said she had no clue and she was really happy to hear that, after that though she got really quiet and shy just staring down. Since I noticed she wasnt gonna respond anymore with anything besides nods I just told her "lets leave it up to here for now". A girl I met the day of the concert was praising me to hell all day. She was honored to play with me etc, really pretty too... shame I didnt get her contact info, most of the girls of the clarinet part were really proud of me it seems. I think all I did was straigthen up my thoughts about Sally, we have to meet on white day because I gotta return her chocolates(she hasn't cancelled this maybe she forgot) anyways she likes a kids character called コジコジ so I got a bridal shop to design cookies to the likeness of that character... smallest order was 5 so I gotta hand her 5 cookies. Honestly I don't know what happened since she wasn't really talking anymore she seemed to be smiling while looking down(at least a crooked smile)

Maybe I fucked up, but I think I am doing the right thing at least. At least I gathered the balls to tell her knowing I would crash and burn the whole time.