The yearly concert of the band draws near and with that everyone gets more and more jumpy, including myself, during one of the recent rehearsals, since I got everything ready and they kept making clarinets do the same part over and over. I just stood up and left, went to the nearby room to practice other things. The conductor which is another student just like us got pretty pissed at my actions and cancelled the rehearsal and took the rest of the clarinets to the same room I was in for part practice, as it went on he threw jabs at me every time he could to maybe get a reaction from me. well eventually he did, so I just stood up put away my clarinet and said ”good luck with the concert".
Going back a bit to the jabs, the rest of the clarinet players never showed up till the recent week, we started practicing in April, they were all "busy" so I practiced all alone till now, every single day. The line that set me off was "Juan doesn't teach anyone shit, that is why I am stuck doing this" I could teach people, they just don't show up, I cannot be held responsible for them. Honestly I was itching for an excuse to blast off the band so when I go it I jumped at it like a shark, never put my clarinet away so fast in my life. As I was heading to the door of the practice hall one girl from the clarinet part stops me and asks me over and over what am I doing I answer "everyone has a limit, I reached mine" then in my book the worst possible thing happened she broke down in tears, but at first it was just a "are you ok?" talk from her then suddenlybroke down in tears, she even had a nosebleed. I thought she hated my guts to be honest so I was quite shocked at this, I always thought she was awesome but I asked her out once when I had the Disney tickets since I got promptly shut down then I just assumed I would stay on that rejected bin(imagine the defective units in a factory) I had two options stay, put my tail between my legs and apologize everywhere or just get the hell out and leave the place burning in my wake. As she was crying she said "the only reason I am playing now is because you are here, all I want to do is play with you" and similar phrases, to even give more details she was in a street dancing club and she quit that to fully commit to this band(when she did that I was thinking clarinets are safe I can "leave" at any time) anyhow after 300 apologies from me to her, I still feel like crap about her crying.Later that day, she tells me she feels a lot better that she could get her feelings out there and she talks for a bit with everyone. I talk to one of my friends and tells me I should treat her as always and not make things worse by blaming myself about making her cry.
fast forward next day, concert hall practice, things are weird still... honestly I am a bit wary of everyone still, since now I am the enemy of the state or I feel like it. Since we are using the hall I take my stuff to the highest seats and practice alone up there(takes like 3 minutes to walk up there) She comes and finds me and says she wants to practice together and now her tone is completely different towards me. Before it used to be super polite Japanese, now it was friend level and she walked 3 minutes in heels to come and get me so that is worth something I guess, later on everyone goes to get lunch and she asks if I want anything from the store(she correctly assumed i would stay alone and practice) I said no, she obliges... dinner comes same pattern, she asks, I answer "I am fine", she comes back with a huge bag of food and says "I bought this for you" it had large fries, a bento, two drinks a box of chocolate I ask to pay her back and she says "it's on me" which now makes her the cool guy in the group. Yesterday she was busy so she didn't come to practice. She never messaged me on the phone either and she started doing so... so suddenly I guess are friends now. Also she brought a shitload of food so it was hard to finish it all and I was dying in the last rehearsal because of overeating, but it is ok. I get called the clarinet genie by the band leader... so everyone knows that nickname and that everyone gets three wishes from me, because if conductors ask me to do something no matter how ridiculous I get it done based on that nickname she told me "do I get a wish too?" I said "the first on is for free" she said "I want us to play together in the concert".
bonus flag saturday we got asked to play as extras for another band, she said she would only join if I join. What is going on. I am pretty sure I should ask her out... but strangely enough I believe she has a boyfriend. DUN DUN DUN.
No comments:
Post a Comment