A very special dance

 I remembered today there was a show called “a very special dance” in Venezuela… it was like dancing with the stars, but all the couples had someone with Down’s syndrome.

https://youtu.be/qhptV2H0EEM?si=JSR7C1GPwhuBHwmW

This is cursed knowledge that I know lay upon others, for updates on my end playing saxophone keeps me distracted from my recent love live woes, I am safe here no way she knows this exists and I severely doubt she wants anything to do with me ever again, but I have come to believe it is for the best.

In other news a very famous clarinet player is following me now on instagram and I gotta figure out why that happened I don’t upload content often or good content to begin with.

Work end I have become a jack of all trades so I help like 5 teams at once right now, I don’t feel any stronger when layoffs happen but I guess it gives me a ton of skills if it does happen! 

I am pretty resilient, living completely isolated from family and friends for well over a decade kinda changes how you brain works, I realize I am in a sad situation no matter how you look at it, but I am very aware it could be worse, now that I have burdened other people with knowledge.

Miracles do end, it is what it is

 Well to put it simply, broke up, she dumped me.

That’s fine and dandy, the aftermath still feels weird, got told she likes me and wants to be friends, but every time we talked she just made it about how we are never going back together and basically an artillery bombardment on me.

I feel I am in the reasonable end of people and can deal with most abuse if there is any… but I just decided to cut it off, block, delete you name it, it just doesn’t make sense to keep in contact in those terms. It helps to write it so it makes sense on my head too. I tried to be friendly the best way I can, it just wasn’t happening.

I don’t need to complain about anything at this point what’s done is done, I just feel weird that it needed to get to that point to attempt to find peace, honestly I wish I could talk in detail about it with someone, but I think some trips to the gym and some “it is what it is” to myself will have to do.

I gotta hold that L, it drove me to buy a saxophone to focus my brain on something else, I am getting quite good at it let’s say haha, every time my brain wanders off I just start playing that or clarinet as therapy.

Work is going quite well, I got rewarded for like every single thing I did… employee of the month deal kinda of stuff.

I can write safely, we never got to talk about this existing.